By Scott Reynen
—
Last update
Sep 18, 2006
—
Installed
864 times.
// Browse Like a Pirate
// version 1.0
// 2006-09-17
// Copyright 2006, Scott Reynen
//
// This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify
// it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
// the Free Software Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or
// (at your option) any later version.
//
// This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
// but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
// MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
// GNU General Public License for more details:
// <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/gpl.txt>
//
// Revision history:
// 1.0 2006-09-17 initial version, based on:
// http://diveintogreasemonkey.org/download/dumbquotes.user.js
//
// ==UserScript==
// @name Browse Like a Pirate
// @namespace http://greasemonkey.makedatamakesense.com/browse_like_a_pirate/
// @description Make all websites talk like a pirate, or walk the plank.
// @include *
// ==/UserScript==
//
// --------------------------------------------------------------------
var replacements, regex, key, textnodes, node, s , openings;
replacements = {
" about([ ,.?!])": " 'bout$1",
" am([ ,\.\?!])": " be$1",
" and([ ,\.\?!])": " an'$1",
" around([ ,\.\?!])": " 'round$1",
" arrest([ ,\.\?!])": " keelhaul$1",
" bad([ ,\.\?!])": " scurvy$1",
" beer([ ,\.\?!])": " grog$1",
" between([ ,\.\?!])": " 'tween$1",
" boy([ ,\.\?!])": " lad$1",
" cheat([ ,\.\?!])": " hornswaggle$1",
" child([ ,\.\?!])": " wee one$1",
" children([ ,\.\?!])": " wee ones$1",
" coffee([ ,\.\?!])": " grog$1",
" condemn([ ,\.\?!])": " keelhaul$1",
" conference([ ,\.\?!])": " parlay$1",
" conservative([ ,\.\?!])": " scallywag$1",
" crazy([ ,\.\?!])": " addled$1",
" dead([ ,\.\?!])": " in Davy Jones' Locker$1",
" Democrat([ ,\.\?!])": " Buccaneer$1",
" Democrats([ ,\.\?!])": " Buccaneers$1",
" doesn't([ ,\.\?!])": " don't$1",
" drive([ ,\.\?!])": " sail$1",
" fly([ ,\.\?!])": " sail$1",
" foolish([ ,\.\?!])": " addled$1",
" for([ ,\.\?!])": " fer$1",
" friend([ ,\.\?!])": " matey$1",
" friends([ ,\.\?!])": " hearties$1",
" girl([ ,\.\?!])": " lass$1",
" government([ ,\.\?!])": " plundering$1",
" he([ ,\.\?!])": " the bilge rat$1",
" hello([ ,\.\?!])": " ahoy$1",
" her ": " the proud beauty's ",
" hey([ ,\.\?!])": " avast!$1",
" hi([ ,\.\?!])": " ahoy$1",
" his([ ,\.\?!])": " the powder monkey's$1",
"ing([ ,\.\?!])": "in'$1",
" in([ ,\.\?!])": " 'n$1",
" is([ ,\.\?!])": " be$1",
" it's([ ,\.\?!])": " 'tis$1",
" kid([ ,\.\?!])": " wee one$1",
" kids([ ,\.\?!])": " wee ones$1",
" kill([ ,\.\?!])": " keelhaul$1",
" left([ ,\.\?!])": " port$1",
" liberal([ ,\.\?!])": " buccaneer$1",
" money([ ,\.\?!])": " booty$1",
" my([ ,\.\?!])": " me$1",
" new([ ,\.\?!])": " tender$1",
" odd([ ,\.\?!])": " addled$1",
" of([ ,\.\?!])": " o'$1",
" oh my god([ ,\.\?!])": " begad$1",
" prosecute([ ,\.\?!])": " keelhaul$1",
" quick([ ,\.\?!])": " smart$1",
" quickly([ ,\.\?!])": " smartly$1",
" Republican([ ,\.\?!])": " Scallywag$1",
" Republicans([ ,\.\?!])": " Scallywags$1",
" right([ ,\.\?!])": " starboard$1",
" silly([ ,\.\?!])": " addled$1",
" she([ ,\.\?!])": " the lass$1",
" speech([ ,\.\?!])": " parlance$1",
" suck([ ,\.\?!])": " suck bilge$1",
" sucks([ ,\.\?!])": " sucks bilge$1",
" steal([ ,\.\?!])": " hornswaggle$1",
" telescope([ ,\.\?!])": " spyglass$1",
" terrorist([ ,\.\?!])": " scourge of the seven seas$1",
" terrorists([ ,\.\?!])": " landlubbers$1",
"tion([ ,\.\?!])": "tin'$1",
"tions([ ,\.\?!])": "tin's$1",
" to([ ,\.\?!])": " t'$1",
" tomorrow([ ,\.\?!])": " the morrow$1",
" wasn't([ ,\.\?!])": " weren't$1",
" woman([ ,\.\?!])": " buxom beauty$1",
" women([ ,\.\?!])": " wenches$1",
" wine([ ,\.\?!])": " grog$1",
" yes([ ,\.\?!])": " aye$1",
" you([ ,\.\?!])": " ye$1",
" your([ ,\.\?!])": " yer'$1"
};
openings = [
'Avast! ' , 'Yarrr! ' , 'Blimey! ' ,'Ahoy! ' , 'Harrr! ' , 'Aye aye! ' ,
'Shiver me timbers! ' , 'Arrrr! '
];
var openingNumber = 0;
regex = {};
for (key in replacements) {
regex[key] = new RegExp(key, 'g');
}
textnodes = document.evaluate(
"//text()",
document,
null,
XPathResult.UNORDERED_NODE_SNAPSHOT_TYPE,
null);
for (var i = 0; i < textnodes.snapshotLength; i++) {
node = textnodes.snapshotItem(i);
s = node.data;
for (key in replacements) {
s = s.replace(regex[key], replacements[key]);
}
node.data = s;
}
var paragraphs = document.getElementsByTagName( 'p' );
for ( var i = 0; i < paragraphs.length; i++ )
{
var paragraph = paragraphs[i];
paragraph.innerHTML = openings[openingNumber] + paragraph.innerHTML;
openingNumber++;
if ( openingNumber == openings.length ) openingNumber = 0;
} // for
