By zatic
—
Last update
May 5, 2008
—
Installed
1,374 times.
// Browse Like a Pirate
// version 3.1
// 4/9/2008
// by Alderin, currently written with LL in mind.
// ==UserScript==
// @name Browse Like a Pirate!
// @namespace Browse like a pirate!
// @description Yarr, browse th' seven seas
// @include *
// ==/UserScript==
replacements = {
"\\babout\\b": "'bout",
"\\ba lot\\b": "mightily",
"\\bam\\b": "be",
"\\bamputee\\b": "peg leg",
"\\bafraid\\b": "lily-livered",
"\\band\\b": "an'",
"\\baround\\b": "'round",
"\\battack\\b": "pillage",
"\\battacked\\b": "raped and pillaged",
"\\barrest\\b": "keelhaul",
"\\bAIDS\\b": "scurvy",
"\\baids\\b": "scurvy",
"\\bATTN\\b": "AVAST",
"\\bbad\\b": "scurvy",
"\\bbeer\\b": "grog",
"\\bvodka\\b": "grog",
"\\bban him\\b": "make him walk the plank",
"\\bcar\\b": "ship",
"\\bBAN HIM\\b": "Make him walk the plank!",
"\\bBan him\\b": "Make him walk the plank",
"\\bBAN HIS ASS\\b": "To the plank with the scurvy mutt!",
"\\bale\\b": "grog",
"\\bbetween\\b": "betwixt",
"\\bwhiskey\\b": "grog",
"\\bbeauty\\b": "gov'nor's daughter",
"\\bbefore\\b": "'ere",
"\\bbanned\\b": "forced t' walk the plank",
"\\bbetween\\b": "'tween",
"\\bboy\\b": "jim lad",
"\\bboys\\b": "jim lads",
"\\bbought\\b": "pilfered",
"\\b4chan\\b": "House o' Bilge Rats",
"\\b/b/\\b": "a shithole",
"\\bAsia\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bJapan\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bChina\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bKorea\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\basia\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bjapan\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bchina\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bkorea\\b": "Th' Mystic East",
"\\bIndia\\b": "Hindustan",
"\\bIsrael\\b": "Th' Holy Lands",
"\\bindia\\b": "Hindustan",
"\\bisrael\\b": "Th' Holy Lands",
"\\bIraq\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bIran\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bPakistan\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bAfghanistan\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\biraq\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\biran\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bpakistan\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bafghanistan\\b": "Th' Ottoman Empire",
"\\bAfrica\\b": "Th' Dark Continent",
"\\bafrica\\b": "Th' Dark Continent",
"\\bcheat\\b": "hornswaggle",
"\\bchild porn\\b": "Ancient Hawaiian Secrets",
"\\bChild Porn\\b": "Ancient Hawaiian Secrets",
"\\bchild Porn\\b": "Ancient Hawaiian Secrets",
"\\bcp\\b": "Ancient Hawaiian Secrets",
"\\porn\\b": "bawdy pictures",
"\\bchild\\b": "wee one",
"\\bchildren\\b": "wee ones",
"\\bcoffee\\b": "grog",
"\\bcondemn\\b": "keelhaul",
"\\btouch yourself\\b": "jangle yer danglies",
"\\bmasturbate\\b": "jangle the danglies",
"\\bfap\\b": "jangle the danglies",
"\\bfapping\\b": "jangling the danglies",
"\\bmasturbating\\b": "jangling the danglies",
"\\bconference\\b": "parlay",
"\\bcrazy\\b": "addled",
"\\bjapanophile\\b": "scurvy mutt",
"\\bweeaboo\\b": "scurvy mutt",
"\\boh shit\\b": "shiver me timbers!",
"\\bover\\b": "o'er",
"\\bThe Token Shop\\b": "Honest Jack's Swag Shop",
"\\bToken Shop\\b": "Honest Jack's Swag Shop",
"\\bdamn\\b": "damn'ed",
"\\bdevil\\b": "Davy Jones",
"\\bdie\\b": "head to Davy Jones' Locker",
"\\bdead\\b": "'n Davy Jones' Locker",
"\\bdoesn't\\b": "don't",
"\\bdollars\\b": "pieces o' eight",
"\\beveryone\\b": "all hands",
"\\beyewear\\b": "eye patch",
"\\bglasses\\b": "eye patches",
"\\bfight\\b": "duel",
"\\bgreatly\\b": "mightily",
"\\bgold\\b": "dubloons",
"\\bha\\b": "har har",
"\\bhaha\\b": "har har",
"\\bbase\\b": "port",
"\\bfort\\b": "port",
"\\bhah\\b": "har har",
"\\bheh\\b": "har har",
"\\bHa\\b": "Har har",
"\\bflag\\b": "Jolly Roger",
"\\bhouse\\b": "shanty",
"\\bhomo\\b": "cabin boy",
"\\bidiot\\b": "bilge rat",
"\\bhit\\b": "flog",
"\\btorrents\\b": "Blackbeard's treasure ",
"\\btorrent\\b": "Blackbeard's treasure",
"\\bllers\\b": "mateys",
"\\bjk\\b": "it be a joke, matey",
"\\bLLers\\b": "fellow pirates",
"\\bLlamaGuy\\b": "Th' Good Cap'n",
"\\bller\\b": "fellow pirate",
"\\bLLer\\b": "Fellow Pirate",
"\\bluelinker\\b": "fellow pirate",
"\\bLUELinker\\b": "Fellow Pirate",
"\\bLUElinker\\b": "fellow pirate",
"\\bLuelinkr\\b": "fellow pirate",
"\\bluelinks\\b": "Isla de Muerta",
"\\bLueLinks\\b": "Isla de Muerta",
"\\bLUELinks\\b": "Isla de Muerta",
"\\bLUElinks\\b": "Isla de Muerta",
"\\bLuelinks\\b": "Isla de Muerta",
"\\bnueser\\b": "sprog",
"\\bnuesers\\b": "sprogs",
"\\bNUEsers\\b": "sprogs",
"\\bNUEser\\b": "sprog",
"\\bn00b\\b": "landlubber",
"\\bnoob\\b": "landlubber",
"\\btroll\\b": "blowhard",
"\\bdrive\\b": "sail",
"\\bbastard\\b": "scurvy dog",
"\\bcoins\\b": "pieces o' eight",
"\\bcorrect\\b": "right an' true",
"\\bfly\\b": "sail",
"\\bfool\\b": "squiffy",
"\\bfoolish\\b": "addled",
"\\bfor\\b": "fer",
"\\bFor\\b": "Fer",
"\\bfriend\\b": "matey",
"\\bfriends\\b": "hearties",
"\\bgirl\\b": "lass",
"\\bex-girlfriend\\b": "festerin' harlot",
"\\bex girlfriend\\b": "festerin' harlot",
"\\bAkujin Kumo\\b": "Alderin",
"\\bgood\\b": "worthy",
"\\byou're\\b": "yer",
"\\byour\\b": "yer",
"\\bhello\\b": "ahoy",
"\\bHello\\b": "Ahoy",
"\\bhey\\b": "avast!",
"\\bHey\\b": "Avast",
"\\bhey\\b": "avast!",
"\\bhi\\b": "ahoy",
"\\bHi\\b": "Ahoy",
"\\bHiya\\b": "Ahoy",
"\\bhiya\\b": "ahoy",
"\\bmoney\\b": "booty",
"\\bguy\\b": "feller",
"\\bfellow\\b": "feller",
"\\bidiot\\b": "scalawag",
"\\ing\\b": "in'",
"\\bin\\b": "'n",
"\\bis\\b": "be",
"\\bit's\\b": "'tis",
"\\bit is\\b": "'tis",
"\\bkid\\b": "wee one",
"\\bkids\\b": "wee ones",
"\\bkill\\b": "keelhaul",
"\\bis not\\b": "be not",
"\\baren't\\b": "be not",
"\\bare\\b": "be",
"\\bam\\b": "be",
"\\bAre\\b": "Be",
"\\blol\\b": "yo ho ho!",
"\\blolol\\b": "Me sides be splittin'!",
"\\bodd\\b": "addled",
"\\bof\\b": "o'",
"\\bohmigod\\b": "begad!",
"\\bomigod\\b": "begad!",
"\\bomg\\b": "begad!",
"\\bOMG\\b": "BEGAD!",
"\\bo rly\\b": "be that right, sailor?",
"\\borly\\b": "be that right, sailor?",
"\\bya rly\\b": "Sailor, 'tis true",
"\\byarly\\b": "Sailor, 'tis true",
"\\bwhoamg\\b": "shiver me timbers!",
"\\bmoney\\b": "booty",
"\\bmy\\b": "me",
"\\bprosecute\\b": "keelhaul",
"\\bpants\\b": "britches",
"\\bParis Hilton\\b": "addled harlot",
"\\bparis hilton\\b": "addled harlot",
"\\bHello\\b": "Ahoy!",
"\\bquick\\b": "smart",
"\\bquickly\\b": "smartly",
"\\bthe rules\\b": "the Pirate's Code",
"\\bnice\\b": "fine",
"\\bthe Internet\\b": "The Seven Seas",
"\\bThe Internet\\b": "The Seven Seas",
"\\binternet\\b": "Seven Seas",
"\\bsilly\\b": "addled",
"\\bsword\\b": "cutlass",
"\\bkatana\\b": "little boy's penis",
"\\bkatanas\\b": "baby dicks",
"\\bshe\\b": "the lass",
"\\bshut up\\b": "pipe down",
"\\bspeech\\b": "parlance",
"\\bsteal\\b": "commandeer",
"\\bdownload\\b": "plunder",
"\\bsexy\\b": "saucy",
"\\btelescope\\b": "spyglass",
"\\bterrorist\\b": "scourge o' the seven seas",
"\\bterrorists\\b": "scalawags",
"tion\\b": "tin'",
"\\bthere\\b": "thar",
"tions\\b": "tin's",
"\\bto\\b": "t'",
"\\btomorrow\\b": "the morrow",
"\\btruck\\b": "vessel",
"\\bwasn't\\b": "weren't",
"\\bwant to\\b": "wish t'",
"\\bwanna\\b": "wish t'",
"\\bYep\\b": "Aye",
"\\byep\\b": "aye",
"\\bwoman\\b": "buxom beauty",
"\\bwomen\\b": "wenches",
"\\bwin\\b": "triumph",
"\\bwins\\b": "triumphs",
"\\bwork\\b": "deck swabbing",
"\\bwine\\b": "grog",
"\\byes\\b": "aye",
"\\bYes\\b": "Aye",
"\\bno\\b": "nay",
"\\bNo\\b": "Nay",
"\\bnah\\b": "nay",
"\\bNah\\b": "Nay",
"\\bYeah\\b": "Aye",
"\\byeah\\b": "Aye",
"\\byou\\b": "ye",
"\\byour\\b": "yer",
"\\bXD\\b": "HAR HAR",
"\\bXFD\\b": "YO HO HO HO!",
"\\bxd\\b": "yo ho ho",
"\\bwtf\\b": "what devilry!",
"\\bWTF\\b": "Begad, what devilry be is?!",
"\\bXD\\b": "Yo ho ho!",
"\\bxd\\b": "Yo ho ho!",
"\\becks dee\\b": "Yo ho ho!",
"\\blueshi\\b": "Jolly Roger",
"\\bFacebook\\b": "PirateBook",
"\\bIsla de Muerta.net/\\b": "luelinks.net/",
"\\bThis message was deleted at the request of the original poster\\b": "This here message be taken back by a yellow-bellied pirate",
"\\bThis message has been deleted by a LUElinks moderator\\b": "This poor soul had a run-in with the authorities",
"\\bGood Tokens\\b": "Pieces o' Eight",
"\\bBad Tokens\\b": "Black Marks",
"\\byou're\\b": "yer",
"\\bYou're\\b": "Yer",
"\\bwins\\b": "triumphs",
"\\bHome|/ \\b": "Haven",
"\\bAdd a link|/ \\b": "Add plunder",
"\\bRandom link|/ \\b": "Who needs maps?",
"\\bTop rated links|/ \\b": "Quality grog",
"\\bLinks o' the week|/ \\b": "Modern fashions",
"\\bWiki|/ \\b": "Wikis",
"\\bAll links|/ \\b": "All th' plunder",
"\\bFavorites|/ \\b": "Treasures",
"\\bSearch|/ \\b": "Scour",
"\\bStats|/ \\b": "Specs",
"\\bBoards|/ \\b": "Th' Tavern",
"\\bUser List|/ \\b": "Roster",
"\\bLogout|/ \\b": "Retreat",
"\\bHelp|/ \\b": "Aid",
"\\bBoard List|/ \\b": "Port",
"\\bCreate New Topic|/ \\b": "Parley",
"\\bPost New Message|/ \\b": "Parley",
"\\bNext Page|/ \\b": "Next Map",
"\\bTagged|/ \\b": "X'd",
"\\bTag|/ \\b": "X",
};
openings = [
'Avast! ' , 'Yarrr! ' , 'Blimey! ' ,'Ahoy! ' , 'Harrr! ' , 'Aye aye! ' ,
'Shiver me timbers! ' , 'Arrrr! '
];
var openingNumber = 0;
regex = {};
for (key in replacements) {
regex[key] = new RegExp(key, 'g');
}
textnodes = document.evaluate(
"//text()",
document,
null,
XPathResult.UNORDERED_NODE_SNAPSHOT_TYPE,
null);
for (var i = 0; i < textnodes.snapshotLength; i++) {
node = textnodes.snapshotItem(i);
s = node.data;
for (key in replacements) {
s = s.replace(regex[key], replacements[key]);
}
node.data = s;
}
var paragraphs = document.getElementsByTagName( 'p' );
for ( var i = 0; i < paragraphs.length; i++ )
{
var paragraph = paragraphs[i];
paragraph.innerHTML = openings[openingNumber] + paragraph.innerHTML;
openingNumber++;
if ( openingNumber == openings.length ) openingNumber = 0;
}
//Thanks to:
//Scott Reynen for the original skeleton
//zoobtoob for hosting
//thegreatsaiyaman fer fixing a good piece of the code
//A shitload of LLers for word ideas
